HOW I CHOOSE TO LIVE
In 2009, after nearly 2 years away from the sport of gymnastics (not to mention several orthopedic surgeries), I decided to make a "comeback." I was determined to compete at the collegiate level as it had always been one of my goals. I simply felt I had unfinished business. I spent my life in the gym training to become an elite level gymnast, dreaming of competing in the 2008 Olympics. Everything seemed to be going well and I was back training at my original gym. About two months into my training, I felt a pop in my left hip. Being a gymnast I was no stranger to pain and would usually have continued to push through. However, this time I knew something was different. With each step I took, my hip would pop, and I experienced sharp, agonizing pain in my groin. I had finally come to the realization that my body had reached its limit. It could not handle being a gymnast anymore. Needless to say I was an emotional wreck. Gymnastics had been my life ever since I was 5 years old. It defined me, and I couldn't imagine not being able to compete or train again.
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| 1999 USA National TOPs Team Member (9 years old) |
Later, I was diagnosed with bilateral hip dysplasia and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS). Being diagnosed with hip dysplasia and EDS was a very emotional time for me. Hip dysplasia meant I was more susceptible to early onset osteoarthritis and I would need invasive surgeries to correct the position of my acetabulum (hip socket). Ehlers Danlos Syndrome is a rare, connective tissue disorder with no cure. Because connective tissue comprises about 80% of the body it is a whole body disorder and can manifest itself in many different ways. It is life changing. With EDS comes a host of other related conditions. I struggle daily with autonomic dysfunction (POTS), headaches, GI issues, chronic widespread pain, and bizarre allergic reactions. Simple activities are more difficult and I face challenges everyday. I have had to learn to adapt and accept that my health is constantly changing. While I can no longer control my body, there is something I can control; I can control my attitude, my outlook, and how I choose to live my life. I can live in self-pity behind a diagnosis and let it tear me apart, or I can accept it and turn it into a positive experience--not only for myself but for others as well.
I choose to live by the quote "You can't always decide what happens to you, but you can decide how you react." Instead of breaking down, I try to find a positive side to every situation. I have had more than 35 surgeries (largely orthopedic procedures). Though there is no perfect solution and surgery is not a cure, sometimes we reach a point where my quality of life and function with a particular joint is severely impacted and surgery is the best option.
As my life and health continue to change and keep us on our toes, I am constantly reminded how fortunate I am to be surrounded by a wonderful, loving and supportive family and great friends! Life with EDS is a constant struggle, and while I strive to be as positive as possible, there are times when things are very challenging. I have learned through all of this that it is okay to be frustrated, upset, overwhelmed and angry at times. I just don't let it consume me every day!
As my life and health continue to change and keep us on our toes, I am constantly reminded how fortunate I am to be surrounded by a wonderful, loving and supportive family and great friends! Life with EDS is a constant struggle, and while I strive to be as positive as possible, there are times when things are very challenging. I have learned through all of this that it is okay to be frustrated, upset, overwhelmed and angry at times. I just don't let it consume me every day!
The easy road is the road of negativity. A road of self-doubt, self-pity, and self-destruction. But I chose the hard road. The road of positive thinking and determination of finding a silver lining to every situation (trust me it is not always easy).
To get up in the morning only to know that you have to face another obstacle takes strength. To smile when the only thing you can do is cry takes bravery. To act happy and laugh when you know that times are at their worst takes courage. To be joyous when the only good news is the best of the bad news takes support.
Surgeries
Prior to EDS Diagnosis
Tonsillectomy- 8/06
(L) Shoulder Arthroscopy (labral tear repair)- 7/07
(L) Ankle Arthroscopy (scar tissue removal)- 8/07
Appendectomy- 9/07
(R) Wrist Ulnar Shortening Osteotomy- 12/08
(L) Hip Arthroscopy (labral tear repair and FAI)- 3/10
(L) Hip PAO- 6/10
After EDS Diagnosis
(L) Knee MPFL Reconstruction with allograft- 11/10
(L) Hip hardware removal- 11/10
(R) Hip PAO- 3/11
(L) Knee elongation of graft- 3/11
(L) Shoulder Open Reconstruction- 5/11
(R) Ankle Reconstruction w/ allograft (Brostrom w/modified Chrisman Snook)- 12/11
(R) Knee Tibial Tubercle Osteotomy and MPFL Reconstruction with allograft- 12/11
(R) Hip hardware removal- 12/11
(R) Shoulder Open Reconstruction- 7/12
(R) Knee hernia repair and hardware removal- 7/12
(L) Hip Open IT band release/elongation- 12/12
(R) Hip Open IT band release/elongation- 7/13
(R) Ankle peroneal tendon synovectomy and scar tissue removal- 7/13
(R) Knee suture removal over MPFL graft, elongation- 7/13
(L) Knee suture removal over MPFL graft- 7/13
(R) Hip Arthroscopy (labral tear repair, osteoplasty-FAI)- 3/14
(R) Hip Open IT band re-release- 3/14
(R) Knee Arthroscopy (cartilage and scar tissue debridement)- 3/14
(R) Ankle peroneal tendon synovectomy- 3/14
Posterior Fossa Decompression for Chiari (8.5mm herniation)- 12/14
(R) Hip Arthroscopy (labral repair)- 8/15
(R) Derotational Tibial Osteotomy- 9/15
Port-a-cath placement- 8/16
(L) Shoulder Open Reconstruction with allograft- 9/16
(R) Hip Open Reconstruction with cadaver graft & rectus femoris re-attachment- 12/17
GJ tube placement - 9/18
(L) Knee Tibial Tubercle Osteotomy & MPFL/LPFL Reconstruction w/ allograft- 12/18
(R) Ankle peroneal tendon synovectomy- 3/14
Posterior Fossa Decompression for Chiari (8.5mm herniation)- 12/14
(R) Hip Arthroscopy (labral repair)- 8/15
(R) Derotational Tibial Osteotomy- 9/15
Port-a-cath placement- 8/16
(L) Shoulder Open Reconstruction with allograft- 9/16
(R) Hip Open Reconstruction with cadaver graft & rectus femoris re-attachment- 12/17
GJ tube placement - 9/18
(L) Knee Tibial Tubercle Osteotomy & MPFL/LPFL Reconstruction w/ allograft- 12/18
