Conflicted

I am very conflicted at the moment. I don't know whether or not to go ahead with the surgery. As I mentioned in my previous post, I have had many people (patients who have had the surgeries) tell me that it was definitely worth it. However, it's not that simple for me. I do not want to lose a significant amount of rotation in my neck and that part scares me because no one can tell me exactly how much I will lose. I have gone over the pros and cons of each decision (surgery or no surgery) 100 times and despite the fact that I could possibly be headache free, I can't get beyond the loss of ROM. (Below is my pros and cons list)

Surgery- Pros:
1. No more headaches and reduction/relief of other neurological symptoms
2. Prevent serious lifelong complications--injury to the brainstem and/or spinal cord from C1 and C2 instability damage
3. There really aren't any lifelong restrictions after surgery

Surgery- Cons:
1. Long recovery and hospital stay
2. Loss of ROM in my neck
3. Possibility that surgery doesn't relieve my symptoms
4. Risks involved with surgery

*Obviously some of the pros outweigh the cons

No Surgery- Pros:
1. No incision in the back of my head/neck
2. No rods in my neck
3. No loss of rotation
4. No long and painful recovery
5. Normal summer for the first time in 3 years

No Surgery- Cons:
1. Live with 10/10 headaches, neck pain, shoulder blade pain, dizziness, swallowing difficulties, and all of my other neuro symptoms
2. Lifelong complications (as mentioned above)

Surgery is scheduled. Now I just have to make a decision. I reached out to my two surgeons in Boston (although they are not cervical spine specialists or neurosurgeons). Their opinion matters to me and I have so much respect and trust in them. I didn't feel right not having talked to them about these surgeries. They both reached out to another specialist at Children's to see if they can help me understand the loss of ROM I will experience and my hip surgeon is looking for a video that shows the result of a C1 and C2 fusion. (That is why I continue to go to Children's...because that is above and beyond care that you don't find everywhere)

I have to make a decision relatively soon, but I don't have a lot of time to really think about it because of my classes. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe the answer will just come to me. I usually just know. I have never second guessed a surgery. Hopefully the feelings of confidence and assurance will come back.