Frustration

I've been very frustrated lately. I'd say 90% of the frustration comes with the inconsistent play of the Bruins. They lost to the Rangers today after dominating the whole game...seriously dominated! However, that's how it's been going lately. They are not the team they were in November when they destroyed teams and they are unfortunately very injured--with only one goalie (who hasn't been performing that well either). I watch every game and follow all the news everyday. I love my B's and it's very frustrating when your team isn't playing as well as they should. Here's to hoping they turn it around in the final stretch.

The remaining 10% of frustration comes with everything that has to do with my health and body. Physical therapy is very frustrating. It is a constant reminder of how far I still have before I will be walking without crutches and without braces. I know that day is coming, but it's not in sight right now. However, I will keep working hard and push through to be able to walk unaided again. My ankle doesn't flex all the way yet, which slows down my process of walking. The pain is not too bad, except when Cam forces it to flex.

My knee still hurts and I get lightning bolt pains over my osteotomy incision. It's likely nerve related. I am also in the beginning stages of CRPS/RSD on my right leg now (particularly the knee area). This is definitely something I could have done without..(to read more about CRPS see the tabs at the top of the blog). I am currently taking 300mg of Neurontin 3x a day. The transition from 900mg 3x a day has been difficult. Tomorrow I will take 100mg of Neurontin 3x and will start taking a low dose of Lyrica. This is my last week of Neurontin.

My right shoulder is terrible. I wake up and it's not in place. Sometimes I wake up and can't feel it. The "dead arm" feeling comes and goes. At this point one dislocation could mean going back in the pillow sling, which I obviously can't do because I am on crutches. In April I will be discussing the surgery options with my surgeon and we will likely schedule surgery for sometime this summer.

Then there's my head...it's really bad. My headaches are getting worse with the treatments. I have vertigo at night. Sometimes in class my hearing disappears. I get ringing in my ears and occasionally feel like I have fluid moving around. My headaches make me nauseous. My neck pain is pretty bad. I have gotten 2 massages to relieve some tension in my back and neck but it's only temporary relief and my headaches don't improve. My vision has been blurry lately but thankfully it's only temporary. I see a specialist in April that comes highly recommended for EDS patients with Chiari. I really feel like he will be able to help!

I am on Spring Break this week. However, I have a ton of homework and reading to do so it's not much of a break! Only 6 weeks to go before the semester is over. I will likely be taking 4 summer courses to catch up a bit and I am excited to go to my friend's graduation in Tampa this spring. It's frustrating that I am supposed to be graduating from college this spring as well, but I'll get there eventually. With summer and winter sessions I should be able to graduate in December of 2013.

Hoping the Bruins turn things around so that my frustration levels can drop! I am excited to go to the last regular-season game in Boston in April.

Next time you're stressed, take a step back, inhale and laugh.

Remember who you are and why you're here.

You're never given anything in this world that you cannot handle.

Be strong, be flexible, love yourself and love others. 

Always remember, just keep moving forward.