At the time I was focused on my gymnastics--competitions, skills, and moving up the levels. Now, (although I will always cherish and remember my gymnastics years) my past is a reflection of my life without pain. A time without surgery, scars, crutches, and physical therapy. I spent my days in the gym training and learning new skills--pushing my body to the limit. I took pride in being athletic and fit. Now I don't even have to push my body to the "limit" and I still struggle. I used to travel across the country with my team for competitions. Now I travel to Boston for appointments and surgery. When I was younger I missed out on a lot of parties and sleepovers. That was okay with me because I was dedicated to my sport and loved being in the gym. Now, I still miss out on hanging out with friends and I don't even have gymnastics to get in the way. Instead I either can't walk, or I am having surgery/recovering from it. It's just not okay with me.
I know that "living in the past" isn't healthy. But my past is a reminder that I HAVE lived without pain. And that is something I need to hold on to. After all what we remember from childhood, we remember forever.
I don't mean for this post to be a negative rant about what I have lost, but a reflection of my past and why it is important. I am a positive person and truly believe that a person's attitude makes all the difference in life. I also believe that everything happens for a reason and God only gives you what you can handle. That's why I was able to accept EDS and a slightly altered way of life. I have learned from EDS that you can't take anything in life for granted. Cherish your good days and learn from the bad.
"When you look back over your shoulder, at everything you've done. Put the good times in your pocket. Let the bad ones make you strong, and keep chuggin' along"
So for old times sake here is a video of a TV show that I watched when I was little--Gullah Gullah Island!
"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose."
Hi, Jill. You don't know me. I came across your blog randomly. I'm actually not real sure how I got here to be honest. I've read your story and I am heartbroken that you've had to endure so much. I was a diver and have been coaching diving for most of my life. I've also worked with gymnasts back in college and coached many that transitioned from it to diving. Just want to let you know that you're in my prayers that this pain would cease, that cures or better therapies would be found. I can tell from your posts that your are a very strong young woman and you have done an amazing job dealing with the curve-balls life has thrown at you. I saw in some of your posts that you are having SI issues as well. My wife has dealt with SI joint dysfunction for half of her life. She has hyper-mobile joints that allow the SI joint to shift. She was injured through over training as a collegiate swimmer and tore many of the lower back muscles that help keep the SI joint in place. Long story short she found relief through surgery somewhat similar to the screws you had for your hip. If you find later that your SI problems become chronic and you are looking for relief I highly suggest Googling Vicki Sims. She is a PT in Gainesville, GA and she works with a surgeon there to restore stability to the SI joint in cases where the ligaments are no longer able to do so. She is the leading authority on SI joint dysfunction and she is worth giving a try if you find yourself in constant SI joint pain. I wish the best for you and will be praying. Take care.
ReplyDeleteHi!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment! I will definitely look into Vicki Sims. I have considered an SI fusion which sounds like the surgery you are talking about.
I dove in high school as a side sport but never connected. The flips and twists were easy for me but I couldn't seem to separate the gymnastics "approach" with the diving "approach."
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers! I really appreciate it!
Good luck to your wife as well with her SI pain and instability!